My first Bamon art
I've decided to make my first Bamon art instead of just attempting to make secrets for the Vampire Diaries page on tumblr lol. I think it turned out alright and pretty interesting, so let me know what you think of it (even if you don't ship them together lol). Thanks!

New chapter
I finished another chapter of my story, "Diamonds in the Rough" today. You can read it from this link:

I hope you enjoy it and please comment!

Newest chapters for my story "Diamonds in the Rough"
Hi everyone!

If you've had a chance in the past to read my story, I've got the newest chapters completed. You can check out my newest chapters, six and seven, from these links:

Chapter Six-
Chapter Seven-

This isn't based on true events, it's truly fiction. I felt like writing this story because I wanted to show an empowering vision of two siblings sticking together against all odds. Chapter six is about a moment of abuse that changed Lacey drastically, so just keep that in mind before you read it. I'll understand if some of you don't read it since it is a tough subject to read about, but I hope you decide to give it a chance.

Any comments (positive or negative) about it are very much appreciated. This is the first story I've ever attempted to write so it's been an interesting experience nonetheless.

Thanks in advance! :)

OMG Blackhawks!
My Chicago Blackhawks just won the Stanley Cup!!!! It's for the first time in 49 years...OMG I am so happy right now. Ever since I started following hockey this year and chose them as my team at the beginning of the year, I fell in love with them instantly. I am so proud of them and I can't believe how everything's going in Chicago right now. I wish I could party in the streets there with all the other fans!

Finally starting!
My first day of my internship will be tomorrow! The start has been well overdue and took quite some time because of their promptness to answer my phone calls and emails lol. But all of that was worthwhile, since I can finally start! I can't wait :)

Very excited!
I had my interview with my internship site today, and it went so well! I'm excited to get started at Project Ujima and working with their incredible program. I've found their mission to be very inspirational, difficult, but also inspiring work. They work with youth from the ages of 7-18 years old and see them right away after they've been assaulted. They want to make sure this pattern of violence and crime doesn't continue happening to them and affecting their family.

But the most shocking thing is that there are only seven other organizations like it in the country! Educating the youth, keeping them safe, and getting them the emotional and physical assistance they need is crucial. And even if they turn down their help, at least it's better than not doing anything at all.

I'm very excited to get started with a great organization like this one :)

Just needed to vent lol....

I'm not a casualty and I don't need your sympathy
And your empty words and tactics
Won't fool me into an inch of trust.

You can pound your fist on the table
Hoping you'll scare me into submission
But surprise, surprise-
I'm stronger than you ever imagined.

When it's all said and done
I'm not the one playing games.
I'm content leaving you where you stand
And never turning back.

So don't you dare push me
Because I may never return.

Diamonds In The Rough- Chapter Five

I had a bad feeling about Annie coming to visit at the high school.  My future was on the line and as much as I love my sister, I don’t want her to wreck things for me.  It’s not that I blame her for my hard life- because I don’t.  The people who receive the complete blame could give a rat’s ass about how it affects my life as well as Annie’s.  To my parents, Annie can’t have any happiness and neither can I.

                Playing the drums and allowing myself to have fun is the small way that I’ve allowed myself to fight back against them.  I know it’s not much, but knowing that I have something in my life outside of homework and Annie’s safety that I can control is empowering.  But with Mrs. Lawrence wanting me to take my talents to the next level, that means that I have to involve my sister in this whole process.  She knows that I’ve been playing the drums for a while now but she’s very hesitant around people she doesn’t know.  And who could blame her?  The people that are supposed to protect her and love her unconditionally are practically the spawns of Satan…actually; I’d make a safe bet that they actually are.

                So going through the rest of my day…with Physics, Spanish and Phys. Ed, I couldn’t concentrate whatsoever.  Knowing that I had to bring Annie over to meet Mrs. Lawrence and the rest of the band staff was driving me crazy and Andrea could tell to.  As we were walking to Phys. Ed together, she finally broke the silence between us and said, “Seriously girl, what’s going on with you??  You look like you’re about to keel over any second now.  Is something bad going to happen at home?  Because you know you can sleep over anytime”. 

                The great thing about having Andrea in my life is that Annie and I do sleep over at her house sometimes if I’ve had a feeling my parent’s drunkenness was going to be much worse.  But in this case of course, Andrea wasn’t right.  “No”, I said to Andrea, “I’m just super nervous about Annie coming by to meet Mrs. Lawrence.  Mrs. Lawrence wants me to start taking part in solo performances and other ensembles, and since most of them are after school, I have to make sure Annie is okay with staying with the other band members and faculty.”

                “Well, why don’t you just let me take care of her for you while you’re doing your ensemble stuff?”

                “Thanks for the offer Andrea but I know you have to work some nights and I couldn’t always depend on you to be around every moment something comes up.  And besides, I think this would be really good for Annie…she needs to realize that not everyone’s out to hurt her.”

                “Yeah I guess you’re right about that.  But you can always stay overnight those nights after your ensemble practices and performances.  My parents are always happy to have you, and ditto goes for me”, Andrea says while giving me a hug.

                “Thanks so much Andrea for everything.  I’m glad I have someone I can talk to about everything”, I say with a big smile.

                “No problem girly, we’ll be best friends for life.  You can count on that”, Andrea says with a wink and a giggle. 

                From there, we both got into the gym and got into our gym clothes.  In a way it was really relaxing to have cross country today.  We had to run the mile and get timed for wellness week.  For some odd reason, I’ve enjoyed running the mile.  Feeling the rush of the breeze in your face, feeling my feet pounding against the hard pavement, and feeling my breathing speed up along with my heartbeat as my blood is rushing through my body at a rapid rate.  It’s exhilarating and I’m usually one of the first girls to finish it.  Andrea finished a couple minutes later and joined me as I was power walking around the school buildings.  “I was thinking”, she said to me, “would you like me to come along while you talk to Annie about everything?”  

                “Yeah that would actually be really nice.  Thanks!”

                “Good it’s settled then!  We’ll head over to the middle school and wait for her right after this.”

                The rest of the class period went by quickly and I was getting extremely nervous.  It was going to be now or never and I had to know how Annie was going to react.  The anticipation was excruciating- seriously.  With the winds at our backs, Andrea and I headed off towards the middle school right after the bell rang and Annie came out about 10 minutes later.  When she saw Andrea with me, she went from a smile to a look of concern.  She knew that if I came with Andrea that meant that we were going home with her because something serious was going to happen at home and that we needed to be elsewhere.  So she said, “Are we going home with Andrea now?”

                “Not right away.  First, we have something else we need to do.”

                Annie gave me a quizzical look.  “What else could there be?”

                I almost couldn’t keep myself from laughing after that.  But I kept my composer and said, “Well Annie, there’s someone that we need to go talk to so we’re going to head back to the high school for a little bit and then head to Andrea’s.  Is that alright?”

                Annie just looked at me with those sharp blue eyes of hers and said, “If you say so.”

                She could be really sassy if she wanted to be- I liked that about her.  Together we all headed back to the high school and started walking across the grass to the band building.  I gazed over to Annie and she was just staring at the big sign on the side that said “Band:  Where creativity becomes a reality”.  If she didn’t know what we were doing before she probably did now.  But she just kept walking with us and never said a word.  To be honest, I fully expected her to start sprinting in the other direction but she did nothing instead.  At that very moment, she had completely surprised me.

                We finally got inside of the building and started walking towards the band office.  Luckily, Mrs. Lawrence and the assistant director, Mr. Jamison, were already in there and had some water and a platter of cookies placed on a table.  It put a smile on my face knowing that they wanted to make a great impression and make my sister feel safe and happy with them.  When we reached the door, Mrs. Lawrence rushed over, and said, “Hi Lacey, I’m so glad you could make it!  And this must be your younger sister!  Hi I’m Mrs. Lawrence”.

                At that very moment, Annie grabbed my arm tightly with both hands and rejected Mrs. Lawrence’s outstretched hand.  I was completely embarrassed by how childish Annie was acting, especially in front of my teacher!  As I could feel my face start to burn up, I said, “I’m so sorry about that Mrs. Lawrence.  She’s really shy and I promise she’s not always so rude”, as I shot a mini glare at Annie. 

                “Oh that’s ok Lacey,” Mrs. Lawrence said with a smile in her voice, “I’m someone new and it’s natural to be a little scared.

                “Annie, I took the pleasure of laying out some cookies and water for you if you would like some.  I just made them a couple hours ago in the teacher’s lounge, and luckily that very old oven didn’t burn them.  But anyway, I tested one myself and they are SO good!  I think you’ll love them.”

                I could still see that Annie was pretty scared but her eyes were starting to soften up a little bit.  She wasn’t glaring nearly as much and she looked up at me seeming to ask whether it was safe to take one.  After I nodded, she walked over to the table, glancing back and forth between Mrs. Lawrence and Mr. Jamison, grabbed a cookie really fast and ran back to me.  If I wasn’t so furious with her, I think I would’ve broken out laughing.

                After my sister returned to my side, I said, “Well, I’ve brought you here to meet Mrs. Lawrence as well as Mr. Jamison because she offered me an amazing opportunity.  You remember that I’ve been playing the drums right?”  A nod.  “Well, Mrs. Lawrence wants me to start playing in front of people so I can go after scholarships and start getting my name out there.  So if people can start seeing me perform and enjoying my work, then I could have a bright future in music.”

                “Sorry to interrupt Lacey, but do you mind if I continue telling her about it?”

                “No, not at all!”

                “Annie, I really wanted you to meet us because some of the groups your sister would play with are after school so I would love if you would stay in the office and hang out with us in the meantime.  We’ll always have snacks out for you and you can even try out some of the instruments in the backroom if you want!  Have you ever wanted to play an instrument?”

                At that, Annie perked right up.  She nodded rapidly and said, “Yes the horn!”

                “Oh you mean the French Horn?”  She nodded again.  “Wow, that is a great instrument!  We’d love to give you some lessons on it!” 

                At that, Annie was smiling the brightest I had ever seen in a long time.  And despite myself, I started to feel my eyes start to tear up.  It wasn’t because I knew they had gained her trust and appreciation- but because my own happiness wasn’t the most important right now.

                Mr. Jamison said he would be right back and left the room.  He came back with a large horn case in his hand, smiled at Annie and said, “Would you like to have a lesson right now with me?  My specialty is actually with brass instruments and the French Horn is another brass instrument!  I’ve been playing the trumpet since I was 10 years old and I’d love to help you too.”

                With this twinkle in her eye, she looked from Mr. Jamison to me and said, “I’ll start when my sister starts her other music too.” 

                And from that moment on, I knew that my sister would do anything for me.  I had spent so much time protecting her that I never stopped to see the love that radiated from her very soul.  She was full of innocence and yet full of wisdom.  I didn’t think it was possible, but I gained even more respect for her than I had previously. 

                As we all enjoyed a cookie and continued talking, I saw Annie continue to release some tension and even laugh a couple of times.  So by the time we left the band office, she was very excited to see them again.  “So when do we get to go back?!” she said to me over and over again. 

                “Probably by the end of the week ok?  And now we’re going back to have a sleepover with Andrea and we’ll keep talking about it then”.

                “Ok!” she said as she started skipping up the sidewalk.  As she went inside, I stopped Andrea before we got inside the house and I couldn’t contain myself any longer. 

                Choking up on tears, I said, “I might actually get what I’ve always dreamed of”.   Andrea took me into her arms and

hugged me as the tears of happiness ran down my cheeks.

My story..."Diamonds in the Rough" Chapter Four

Since I'm still fuming over the conversation with Derek, I don't even know what to say to Andrea. She sees this between us all the time and it has to get really exhausting and annoying for her. However, she doesn't seem annoyed by it at all- in fact, she always seems very amused and laughs about it for a while afterwards. Like in this instance as we were walking to Pre Calc together, she says "Lacey, you know you'll always be my best friend. But seriously…do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?" And I guess I would have to agree with her. I go to every possible extreme so he will leave me alone and give up on me. I give the intense glare and I raise my voice to its optimum level, but of course, that doesn't keep him away. And like Andrea loves to remind me of all the time, this only keeps him interested that much more. But trust me, I've tried ignoring him. I've tried just listening to him when he tries talking to me and just looking around like I have something more important to do. But he just knows what buttons to push that will set me off so I have no choice but to say something. Yeah, I might look like a raging lunatic, but at least I can speak my mind.

And another thing Andrea loves to tell me is that I should give Derek a chance. And before she can say it to me again, I say to her, "And Andrea, please don't tell me once again that I should give Derek a chance. Can't you tell how narcissistic and rude he is? He's nothing like me, and besides, you know how my life is…it would never work out."

The thing with Andrea is that she is a hopeless romantic. She's probably had ten boyfriends at this point, and it's like she tries them out for a while to see if the love could ever occur. She wants that soul mate that they show in the movies and in the romance novels- but I know better. And right on cue, she says to me, "Are you being serious right now?? I'll always be by your side when it comes to your family and you know that. But you can't be alone forever! And it's obvious that Derek is crazy about you. I know you're just saying you don't like him. It's easier to get mad and annoyed with him than to face the fact that you want him too. You're not fooling anybody and especially not me." I just roll my eyes.

"It's easy for you to say that. You don't have any problems with guys or having them meet your family. I don't have that luxury Andrea and you of all people know that. I'm not looking for sympathy but I don't have time for a relationship with anyone. I have Annie to worry about."

"Yeah, but what if he could be another supportive person in your corner?" Andrea said. "It would take a lot of courage on your part to tell him about your situation, but I really think he would understand. Lacey, you're my best friend…I just want you to be happy. You deserve it. And don't say again that you don't like him because I know better."

She knows me too well.

When we walk through the doorway, the bell rings. We were just in time for Pre Calc and my teacher for this class is Mr. Morgan. Out all of my teachers in my school, he's the one who always asks me how I'm doing. Deep down I think he knows something's going on at my home. I don't come to school with bruises on my face anymore but I do have big bruises on my arms sometimes. I try to cover them up but the truth has its way of exposing itself. He's a heavier set man with graying hair and a receding hair line, as well as glasses with very thick lenses. His voice can be quite monotone at times which honestly puts me to sleep from time to time, but he's still great at explaining everything in class. "Today class," he started off by saying, "We will be talking about permutations and combinations. Has anyone had any previous experience with this?" And of course, no one raised your hands. Even if anyone had, who wants to look like a nerd and admit it? From there, he handed out a note sheet for all of us. "To put it simply right now," he said, "it's the fundamentals of counting and representing factors. By using the letters d, e, and f, create as many three letter combinations as you can." After giving us a few minutes, he said "As you hopefully noticed, you came up with six different combinations. If we wanted to make combinations of two using the letters j, k, l, and m, the number of combinations will be quite different. Give that a try on your sheet." He continued to explain it for the rest of the class period, I didn't think about Derek. That's the nice thing about school- I can escape any problems I have and think for a while. Learning something new has always been interesting to me. Call me a nerd but I like having something in my life that is always a constant, outside of Andrea and Annie anyway.

The rest of the day was a blur though, I couldn't tell you anything else I learned because of what happened my second period. I have a free period every day during second period so I usually go in the band room and play on the drums in the back. Since my freshman year, I would go in and play around on every single one. I love all the different pitches and how the vibrations seem to surge right through you. Not only that, it's a great way for me to let out my frustration through music and to feel the sticks strike the head of the drum. It empowers me and motivates me. When Mrs. Lawrence the band director heard me playing one day, she offered to give me lessons for free. With that offer, how could I possibly pass it up? So far, I've learned the timpani, snare, bass and the quads. So today during our lesson on the timpani (which is my favorite!), she said she had to speak to me and to have a seat. At first I panicked and thought she was going to tell me that she couldn't give me lessons anymore. However, when she had me take a seat, she looked me right in the eye and said, "Over the past three years, I have had the honor of hearing you play multiple percussive instruments with immense talent. I want to suggest something to you and I hope you take me up on my offer. I would like you to play in band with us during your senior year and to play in various competitions. I think it's time that you shared your talent with the rest of the world. What do you say?"

At this point I was extremely hesitant. It wasn't because I thought band was nerdy or that I was nervous about performing in front of people. But because of Annie and my situation at home, I didn't think I should be home late and make our mistreatments worse. And with all of these competitions, could I always take her with me, or would I have to leave her behind and risk her safety? So despite how much I wanted to take her up on her offer, I wasn't sure I could. I said, "As tempting of an offer as that is, I'm not sure I can. I have to take care of my sister all the time after school and she really relies on me."

"Well, that won't be a problem then. She can always come along to the band concerts or stay after school in my office. There's always someone around."

"She's very shy too…I'm not sure she would like that."

"I can meet her after school today and I can have her meet everyone on staff here. Is that possible?"

"She's goes to school across the street at Morris Elementary. I guess I can bring her over. If she's comfortable with everything, I'll take up your offer."

"Oh you will?! This is great! Let's hope your sister loves all of us right?"

"Yeah," I laughed, "you better hope so. Also, I know this an odd question…but would you mind dropping us off at home afterwards? I don't have a car and we usually take the bus."

"Sure, whatever you need!"

The rest of the day, I just kept envisioning myself playing in front of people. Performing a solo in front of hundreds of thousands of people and at the end hearing a roar of applause afterwards. To me that would be pure bliss. And for the first time in my life, I had a future and suddenly that goal to go to college became even brighter. I want to perform with an orchestra or play in a world-renown band or ensemble, and with band experience, it could really happen. It was an odd feeling but for once I was thinking about what I wanted for a change.

Hopefully Annie won't ruin that dream.

I'll be updating my story as soon as I can.  These are the chapters I have completed thus far.  Please leave any comments you have thus far :)


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